Still Okay
by BrazeN23
Summary: [Lost Island] Ryo's route, end of ch. 7 and beginning of ch. 8: In my opinion, one of the most intense scenes in all of Shall We Date... retold from Ryo's point of view. Spoiler warning, if you couldn't already tell.


"Aaaahhhnn!"

After all that had already happened, my spirits fell at that sound. Just to make sure, I asked Riko, "Did you hear that just now?"

She nodded at me, brows furrowing with worry. "It sounded like a little girl crying."

We looked around. It didn't take long to spot her... Hana. We rushed over, and I gathered her into my arms, spilling questions. "Are you all right? What happened? Why are you out here alone?"

Between sobs, Hana gasped out, "Mr. Ryo... I found mommy..." Her finger was pointing at a pair of motionless zombies. "Me and daddy went looking, and we found her. But she bit daddy, so he shot her... then he shot himself... Why did he do that? Now they're sleeping and they won't wake up..."

"Oh, Hana..." Riko looked heartbroken. Neither of us could think of what to say. For the little girl to have finally found her parents, and then this... It was too cruel.

I hugged Hana tightly. "It's okay, Hana. Everything's going to be okay..."

She nodded against my shoulder. "Yes... I'm... o...okay... 'cause I can... be... with... mommy and daddy..."

"Hana?" Riko asked uncertainly. There was something odd about Hana's statement.

"I'm oh... ohhh..." Her declaration of being okay was cut off as a small set of teeth clamped down on my neck.

"Ouch..." I was more surprised than hurt, but realization set in quickly. I shoved Hana away from me... or what used to be Hana. Her skin was already paling, her eyes blank. The scream I let out then had nothing to do with pain or fear, and everything to do with frustration.

Even as I drew my pistol and ruthlessly destroyed the new zombie, I was pushing back a sense of failure. I had failed to protect an innocent child, I had failed to keep my guard up, and now I would no longer be able to protect Riko... Not even from myself...

"No... no..." Riko's face was blank with shock and disbelief. The gun I had given her slipped from her hand and clattered against the ground, fortunately without firing. She looked as though her world had just shattered. "No... This isn't real... It can't be..."

Reflexively, I pressed my hand against my neck to slow the bleeding. I called to Riko, the pain impeding my words at first. "Riko! Get... your gun... Shoot me!"

She murmured something unintelligible. This wasn't good. If she couldn't pull herself together before I turned, she was as good as dead.

"Riko!" Her eyes were dull, and she didn't seem to hear me anymore. I would have to take care of this myself... I lifted my gun and pulled back the hammer. *kachack*

Riko jerked and blinked at me. "Ryo... what are you doing?"

There was no time to discuss it with her. I set the muzzle against my temple, ignoring the chill of the metal. But while I was gathering my nerve to pull the trigger, Riko dashed up and yanked the gun from my hand, shouting.

"You can't! I won't let you!"

I reached for the gun, but she backed away. "Give it back..." How much time did I have left? Surely not enough.

She was crying as she refused. It made something in my chest ache, but I pushed the strange feeling down.

"...Then shoot me! Kill me before I become a zombie. I don't want to hurt you... Don't you get it?"

She shook her head back and forth violently. "I can't! There's no way..."

"If you don't shoot me now, you'll become a zombie too."

"I don't care!"

"Of course you do... I know you don't want that... Being a zombie doesn't suit you at all."

"Don't joke around!"

"Then shoot me already..." I got up from my knees and went closer to her. It was dangerous... If I turned now, I would be that much closer to killing her. But I had to take the risk. "In a situation like this, being killed by you seems like the most honorable death for me."

"Please, stop..."

I gently grabbed the hand with which she still held my pistol and helped her point it at my chest, right where the bullet could pierce my pounding heart. "All you have to do is pull the trigger."

"Ryo..." Her whisper barely reached my ears. "I can't do it..." She shook off my hand and backed away again.

"...Riko." How could she be so stubborn?

"You can't have been bitten very bad!" she exclaimed shrilly. "If we treat you quickly, you might be fine! Let's hurry back to the lab..."

"You know that isn't true. It's no use."

"No, I don't know that!" she shouted back at me. "The fact is, you're not a zombie yet!" Her eyes were filled with desperate hope. I didn't want to see them when that hope was dashed...

"We have no idea when I'll become one. Do you want to put everyone at the lab in danger?"

She paused for a moment, and when she answered me, her voice was shaky but determined. "If... if you do turn into a zombie... then... then I'll kill you... I won't let you hurt the others. So please, get in the car!"

When I didn't move, she tentatively pushed at my chest. "Hurry! More zombies might show up! If you won't come with me, then I'll stay here and let them attack me!"

There I stood, still as human as ever. I sighed. "Okay, you win..." I started to walk back to the car. "Don't forget to pick up the other gun."

I climbed in the driver's seat. It was safer than having Riko drive and be unable to defend herself. I kept glancing over to make sure she still had the gun aimed at me. The rest of the time, I was counting every breath, convinced that each could be my last. And yet... all the way back to the laboratory... I kept on living.

We got out of the car and moved slowly toward the building. Lionel came rushing out to greet us.

"You're safe!"

At his exclamation, I glanced at Riko. She was holding a pistol at her side, ready to shoot me if necessary. But she was trying not to attract Lionel's attention to that.

"You hadn't come back by the time it got dark, so I was worried." He paused and seemed to realize that there were only two of us. "What happened to the kid?"

Riko didn't answer for a moment. Her eyes started to fill with tears, but she clenched her teeth and spoke quietly. "On the way back... he was killed."

Such a simple way to explain it, conveying none of the horror we'd felt watching as Shota had finally found his grandfather, only to join the old man as a zombie. ...I had shot both of them myself.

"Oh," said Lionel. "...I'm sorry."

"But worse than that, Ryo-!" Riko broke off suddenly. It must be hard for her to decide how to break the news.

"Ryo what?" asked Lionel.

"...He was injured..."

Lionel looked more closely at me. "There's blood on your neck," he observed flatly.

For a moment, I wasn't sure how to answer. I ought to just tell him. If he was prepared, he wouldn't get hurt. But...

"...Yeah. It's a shallow wound." I wasn't a zombie yet, for whatever reason. I wasn't dead yet, because of Riko. I would trust her judgment a while longer.

"We'll treat you right away. Come on."

As Lionel turned back to the laboratory, I looked at Riko again. She couldn't look me in the eye, and her hand was clenched tightly around the handle of the gun. "Let's go, Ryo..."

Once we reached the infirmary, it was only a matter of time before Lionel found out. I sat on the edge of the bed and Riko stood nearby, shifting restlessly. Lionel pulled out a first-aid kit and started cleaning my injury. I waited in silence for the moment when he froze up.

"Are these... teeth marks?"

There was no point in trying to hide it. "Yeah... They are."

Lionel pulled back slightly. "You weren't..." The tone was that of a statement, like he knew already but didn't want it to be true.

"...Yeah. I was bitten by a zombie."

I wasn't surprised when he took a long step away from me, drawing his gun. I would have done the same in his place. But as he aimed at me, Riko leaped in between us, crying, "Wait!"

"Move, Riko," Lionel ordered tersely.

She stood her ground. "No! It's already been a long time since he was bitten! He might not even be infected!"

"Do you understand what you're doing?!"

"Yes, I do!"

Lionel looked past Riko at me. "Ryo, you're breaking your own rule..."

Never put others at risk. That was our duty... Defend. Protect. Even if we had to give our lives.

"...I was going to kill myself," I said quietly. "I would have..."

"I stopped him!" Riko said. "It's my fault! If... If he becomes a zombie, I promised I'd kill him then! So... please! Please don't kill him while he's still okay..."

Lionel was silent. He stood there, his gun still raised, watching me with indecision.

"Lionel... can you really shoot him?"

Lionel's eyes snapped toward Riko. "What?"

She finally stepped aside, gesturing at me. "This isn't a zombie in front of you... It's Ryo!"

I looked past the barrel of his pistol and met his gaze. For a long moment, we just stared at each other. I don't know what he saw when he looked at me. I felt empty, like the only thing left of me was a shell. I was still ready to die. Finally, I just shut my eyes and waited for him to make up his mind.

"...All right."

When I opened my eyes again, Lionel had lowered his gun and was looking at Riko.

"But I'm telling you now, when he does become a zombie... even if you hesitate, I will kill him myself."

Riko agreed, and then Lionel left to get Ren. I watched Riko for a while. Neither of us spoke. "...Why are you doing this?" I finally asked.

She struggled to find words, but at last she managed to whisper, "I... I want to protect you, Ryo. You're always looking out for me... But now it's my turn."

"When I could turn into a zombie at any minute? Is that really 'protecting'? You're putting everyone else in danger." I didn't understand, and I wanted to. Why did she plead so desperately for my life?

"But I love you!" Riko blurted out. "That's why... I don't want you to die..."

"Riko..."

After her name slipped from my lips, the infirmary went quiet. Riko stood there, still clutching the gun, biting her lip as if she hadn't meant to tell me so abruptly. Before I could figure out how to break the awkward silence, the door was flung open and Ren stepped in.

"Ryo! Is it true you were bitten?!" He immediately started peppering me with questions, all of which I answered in an almost numb state. Being on the verge of death and getting confessed to was a lot to deal with all at once.

The next thing I knew, I was rolling up my sleeve so Ren could take a blood sample. Then he rushed off to have it analyzed.

For the next several hours, Riko and Lionel took turns keeping watch on me. Lionel tried to convince her that he could handle it on his own, but Riko insisted. I think she was mostly afraid I would turn into a zombie the moment she took her eyes off me. The tension and the monotony got to her after a while, though.

When Ren finally returned, Riko was dozing in a chair next to Lionel. I was trying not to be upset that she was leaning on him. She might get sore if she had to sleep in an uncomfortable position. I wished I could be the one she was leaning on, but right now that wasn't safe.

"I have news," said Ren.

Lionel gently shook Riko awake. "What did you find?" he asked Ren.

"We thoroughly analyzed Ryo's blood sample, but there was no sign of the virus."

"That's a relief for now," Lionel said, visibly relaxing.

"Thank goodness," gasped Riko. She was so happy she started crying.

As for me, I was having trouble comprehending what Ren had said. "No... sign?"

"Not a trace," Ren confirmed.

I felt as though my heart had been stopped for the past few hours and someone had just jolted it into motion again. This whole time I had been so resigned to dying that I might as well have been dead already, and now I was told I could keep living... Once I got used to it, I had only one thought.

"Riko..." I stood up, walked over to her, and pulled her to her feet.

"R-Ryo?"

Then I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. "I'm... still alive... And it's all thanks to you. I owe you my life."

Riko made strange little noises. I loosed my grip so I could see her face, then let out a soft laugh at her confused expression. It was so adorable, I got an urge to kiss her. So I did. Immediately her face went bright red.

"...We're still here, you know," chuckled Lionel.

"They're sure putting on a show for us," Ren observed dryly.

Riko tried to pull away from me. "Um, Ryo... wait!"

But I wouldn't let her go. "Can't you guys take a hint?" I asked, raising one eyebrow at the other two.

Lionel grinned. "Got it. Take your time."

"I don't particularly want to watch," Ren agreed. "I'll come back for another blood sample later."

They filed out of the room and shut the door behind them. As soon as they were gone, Riko started spluttering at me. "Ryo! What were you thinking? In front of Ren and Lionel... Was that... just to calm me down again?"

I frowned at her. "What, you can't tell the difference between now and then?" I may have kissed her 'to calm her down' before, but could she be so naive as to assume that's what I was doing every time? In case she could, I kissed her again, deeper this time. "...I won't let you give me that excuse anymore."

"Ryo..."

I pushed her down on the bed, kissing her until she broke away gasping for air. While she tried to get her breath back, I whispered in her ear.

"Ever since I lost my family, I swore I'd never truly love anyone. So if I died, no one would suffer the way I had... I never let anyone get close to me, until you came along. I couldn't keep you out. Since that first kiss... no, maybe even before... all this time, I've cared for you. You were always on my mind, but I didn't understand why... until just now, when you said that to me. At that moment, I understood... it's because I love you too. I won't lie to myself anymore."

Riko blinked at me, her mouth trembling as if she wanted to smile. "This feels... too good to be true..."

"In my line of work, I could lose my life at any moment. But I'm not going to give up this job. So... do I still have the right to love you?"

Riko's arms slid around me, pulling me closer. "You do... Because I love you no matter what. I'll never leave you. I won't be afraid of the future just because something bad might happen. So please... stay with me forever!"

"I promise not to die. I'll always be with you. I love you, Riko..." I kissed her once more, then my lips moved down to her neck.

Riko flinched and then started stammering. "U-um... w-wait a minute!"

"What?" I asked, not moving away.

"I haven't showered in a while," she confessed bashfully.

"So what? I don't care." I pressed my face against her shoulder, breathing in deeply. To me, this scent was the scent of Riko, and it was intoxicating. I wanted to taste her as well.

Riko squirmed away from my tongue. "No... we can't..." She interrupted her own protests with a moan.

"But if you keep reacting like that, I won't be able to stop." I nibbled lightly on her ear. Her sweet, salty flavor left me wanting more.

She shivered, then set her hands firmly against my chest.

"S-stop!"

For the moment, I stopped. "Why?"

"B-because... I... I've never... I'm not ready..."

Her expression was just too perfect. I helplessly burst into laughter.

"Hey, don't laugh! I know it's strange that I'm still so innocent even at this age..."

"No, that's not it at all." I gently stroked her hair as I spoke. "You just looked so cute, I couldn't help it..."

"Cute?! What're you talking about? I'm just a boring lab geek..." Even as she denied it, her embarrassment made her face even more adorable.

"Oh, you're definitely cute..." I placed a kiss on her forehead and then stood up. "I'm sorry, I forgot to think about what you'd want. I suppose it's because I'm not used to feeling like this about someone. I'm not sure how to use my brakes... But I'll wait until you're ready, no matter how long it takes."

Riko looked up at me, her wide eyes full of innocence and trust. "Ryo... Thank you..."

I smirked impishly. "Well, I mean, I'm not sure I can wait forever."

"I don't think I can either," she admitted, blushing. Then she asked hesitantly, "Um... Are we... together now?"

"Yeah. We are. I'm going to be your first everything, I guess... I have a lot to teach you, so just be ready."

She blushed even harder.

"Your reactions are priceless."

With a groan, she hid her face in her hands. "It's your fault for teasing me!"

I ruffled her hair with a smile. "Sorry. Thank you, Riko... Thank you for saving me."

Somehow, I was certain we would get back to the mainland. Together. And I would never, ever let her go... And everything would be okay.


End file.
